Saturday, October 12, 2013

Everybody says I'm awesome but I can't find that person

Nowadays there is more girls who have a carrier, an engineer degree, doctorate or any other high qualification, also they have traveled a lot and met so many people, and also they are sport girls or gamers or geeks or some mix of that.

Actually sounds so nice and awesome in theory for any guy, but it's all happiness?

Recently I've been talking with this kind of awesome girls, smart, well prepared, totally independent and brave of course, and I've notice they've some kind of problem finding the right one, and this problem I think is intimidation, I think some guys need to feel they are the superman for a girl, they need to feel they control everything, that they can protect the girl and solve all her problems, some kind of old manly way of thinking but still it is a real problem nowadays.

First, I think it's about pride, when a girl have all that nice qualifications, personality and the guy looks at his self and sees nothing compared with it, then his pride hits the ground, so he has only two choices, to admire her or to think she is too far away and forget about her.

Second, I think this need to feel that they can rock your world is some old instinct written in our genes, but this time I wont make any research about it, I'm almost sure it's something about it, because it's not rational but seems to be important for some of the guys.

Third, I think it's not only about qualifications is about life experience, some guys want to discover a new world for you and they don't like the idea that you have already been in the moon,  I think this problem is well showed in the movie "Chasing Amy" which I think it's a great movie and I recommend it even thinking that the end is not what I expected.

So how to solve it? well I think it's a transferring information problem, because most of this girls are smart enough to don't care about the guy's qualification or life experience, they have other reasons that we'll never understand. But the important fact is that we "the guys" don't guess that you think like that, we usually think "she is engineer, so she needs some guy with that qualification or more" or "she is professional basketball player and I don't even know the rules, she is far away from my self". So what I'm trying to say is that you need to say what are you looking from a guy, or at least what you don't care about from a guy, in case you don't know any of this two questions please don't play with guys until you find it, but you'll anyway right?

Well and in the other side, for the guys is about self confidence, and I'm not saying stop studying and become more self confident so you'll have the girl, I think it's about believing in you as a person who deserves this awesome girl, because if you are talking with her now, and everything looks friendly, probably she is interested but she doesn't even know, so if you close the door before she does you'll never know what could happen, just believe in you and try.

You still think you'll loose a friend? come on! probably it will be an awkward moment but later you'll feel better anyway, and you'll start seeing her in another way, that's more healthy for both sides.

The pride problem is something you will have to deal with, but I guess it worth the feeling when you end up with one of this girls, remember it's not a competition, you want the best for her and you are happy with what she has own, I think they're more heavy reasons.

A positive way to see this is "wake up!" if you have the chance to met one of this girls, that I'm sure they really worth it, you can take it like a challenge and improve your self to feel comfortable with a girl like that, make yourself someone who deserves her, and do it for you also :)

An independent girl is someone we all want to have but we don't know what to do if we reach one, so the problem here is not to find the perfect fit on your life to roll on, is to learn how to roll on by yourself and only then you can really share your path with other independent person as it's well shown in this great video I always recommend.

I think it's a modern kind of relationship because independent couples can have distant relation, or don't see each other fluently, or any other kind of behavior not so traditional as we have seen before.
So if you are traditional maybe you have to change this in your self also, but the nice part of it is that usually we are talking about smart persons, and smart relationships are always better :)

Thank you for reading, I would like to write more but I don't want to bother you any longer so take care and best regards,

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