Tuesday, January 3, 2012
New Year 2012
Maybe I'm not in the best mood for writing now, but I'll do it...
Where I'm? here, in Eslovenia - Maribor - Quadro - 207 room - with that new shirt ...
What Time is it? 2012 - 01 - 02 - 23:36 time to think on me
Who are you? in this moment, I'm that person who no one can be, because I chose to be like this.
Wait a second I'm not smiling, just pushed my hands in my face and breath and ask me what happens?
Now is ok, the answer is in this picture, now I'm smiling, realizing that I'm not that stable and self confident that I want to be but near to that, just need some little words to remember what should I feel and she did it in the exactly moment.
Now in the mood of a person that stable that I think I should be, now I can say, smiling, that I'm happy, I'm complete now, and I feel really relaxing about my life now and my personality, I never wanted to feel relaxed about my personality but I do now, just now, because I feel that I've earned it, and I think I do because she show me who I am, what I am, and what I'm not.
This is for me a really important picture in my life, a representation about what happened in lasts months of 2011 and what is going to be with my life, this is just a perfect photo to explain the changes in my mind from 3 months until now.
So I must start introducing the girl in the picture, she is one of the most special persons I've ever meet in my life, she is that kind of people that changes your life to another direction, and it was complete unexpected, because I never wait this from a person like her, but then I meet her better and now I can say really sure that she is an awesome person and I'm so lucky for spending a little part of my life near to her. She helped me in too many ways an makes me a better person just being like she is, and that is really impressive because I'm hard to change, and even some of my friends tried to change me in the way she did but they couldn't, I got to say thank you to them too, but she didn't use just words she show me the person that I have inside and with her personality she just demonstrate me what am I truly.
The confidence that is showed in this pictures made me feel really good with me and appreciate who I'm. The consequence of her intervention in my life will belong from now until the end of my life, even knowing that my life near to her has a fixed time. but I really love the person I'm when I'm near to her, and the record of that feeling will help me after the inevitable moment when our lives will take different ways again. But that's real, and is not about an end, is a change and I must lear to don't feel fear to the changes, and face it, like other things that I'll have to face in the future.
Some thing really important that I want to earn to my personality is to enjoy and appreciate this moment, every moment, because every moment is unique and I can not continue waisting it thinking in the future or the past, there is no empty moments, I got to take conscience about what's is happening, empty my mind, do things, actions, because I want to be what I do, not what I say or what I think.
I'll never stop trying to improve my self, but now and thanks to her I'll enjoy what I've become at the same time, and be proud about me, and smile, because loving me will make happy the people that love me, and I knew it before but I never did until she show me just being like she is, a simple expression of the body called hug could told me every thing I needed and more deeply as I expected from a simple but really important hug.
I won't never be able to measure how much I own to her, but I promise I'll try to give it back as much as I can, as long as my life last.